Yknow when you let someone use one of your Good Pens™️ and theyre like “this is a really good pen” like 👀👌🏾i know and im watching u bicth
(via muhmuhmuhm0bin)
Baby boomers: why don’t millennials just work 2 jobs?
Minimum wage jobs: ok so we need at least 4 full days of availability, must work holidays, can’t request a set schedule, must work weekends, and you will never know what day or what time you are gonna work until the schedule comes out :)
(via muhmuhmuhm0bin)
a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid
bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both
bold of you to assume it wasnt jake who planned to get her pregnant exactly 9 months before so she’d be thrown off by contractions
bold of all of us to assume Holt didn’t pick an exact date to compliment them both so they’d have validation horniness so that jake AND amy were in disadvantage during the heist
(via ghorardeem)
there’s a lot of unspoken pressure to keep liking the things you used to like and to keep dressing the way you’ve always dressed and to never question what you believe in and basically “be yourself” has slowly morphed into “be what everyone knows you as” but trust me when i say if you just give it up and simply make decisions and take actions based purely on what would make you happy, you’ll gain a very comforting sense of self peace
(via roses-and-elixir)
you know when you’re eating something with lettuce and a leaf winds up hanging out your mouth while you’re chewing and for a few seconds you fuse souls with that of a 66 million year old gentle and slow brachiosaurus? love that
(via kyunkitumhiho)
men tell their daughters and sisters not to talk to strangers but get pissed when a woman who don’t know them don’t wanna talk to them lmao
(via chameli)